I wish I could turn back time to early 2011; when there was a person who I think I kinda meant something to, someone who even liked me for who I am. What I could I have asked for more I’m thinking now. We were same and different at one and same time though. I knew it won’t last long and as I am writing this down, it hasn’t. Our ways went apart some time ago. It was all my fault. And all I can say is that I was dumb. Blind and naiv. Dazzled by something that was not important and not existent. I made the wrong decision. I wish I had realized that before I made the wrong step. No apology could excuse what I’ve done. And now here I am. With nothing but my lonely and aching soul. Regreting what happened by my false conclusions. I never blamed myself so much before. So, I wouldn’t blame you either if you would despite me forever now. Because that’s what I do too. All I want and hope for is that you are doing well right now. Much better than me. Rather the opposite because that’s what I deserve for abadoning you. Because I wasn’t there when you needed me the most..
'I'm sure tomorrow will be better,'
I wanted to believe that too. when I opened my eyes tomorrow, the world would be new, and every problem would be solved. But I couldn’t swallow that scenario.